This is not your typical i-3xed-my-salary-so-i-quit-my-job story.
Last week, I made a huge leap of faith when I emailed my resignation letter to quit my full-time job. I’ve been working as a full-time writer for an online creative agency since September 2019.
My original plan after graduating from college last June was to go full time on my business. But, since my business was still not stable during that time, I knew I had to compromise. I was offered this job and took it so I don’t have to worry about paying my bills. As an entrepreneur, I wanted to lessen the pressure of having to make a profit just to survive.
But, two months after, the stress of the workload from being a full-time writer has taken a toll on me, on both my physical and mental health. I was living off in front of my laptop every single day just to write articles, submit them before the deadline, and all the while still having to run my business alongside it.
At the back of my mind, I knew it’s about to happen. I somehow knew that all this exhaustion and not taking enough care of myself is going to backfire; I just kind of expected that it’s not going to be too soon.
But three weeks ago, I started getting hives. Random hives. All. over. my. body. (Well, except my face. Thankfully.)
They’ll just come and go and I had no idea what was triggering them. Except for seafood, I have no allergies that I know of beforehand.
After researching tons of articles and going to the doctor, I learned that I had Acute Idiopathic Urticaria. “Acute” because they weren’t as chronic as the others (I’m still under observation now). “Idiopathic” because even doctors don’t know what’s exactly triggering them.
Don’t get me wrong — it isn’t as bad as other illnesses out there. But, I’m not overreacting when I say that I’ve had my fair share of experience from being confined in a hospital and somehow, I didn’t want that to happen EVER again. That’s why I usually panic when I get symptoms like this.
Besides the hives, I’ve also had random headaches in the past few weeks. I felt like my energy was so low, like something was sucking the soul out of me.
To add salt to the injury, I felt so overwhelmed with all my work tasks and entrepreneur duties. I’ve known that feeling before and I’m glad I’ve grown self-aware since I last had one but yes, I was once again in the brink of a burnout.
Up until last week, I was just trying to shrug it all off. I thought maybe the pattern of waking up dreading work, passing the day, and going back to sleep late is only a phase that won’t really last.
But then, I had a sudden breakdown.
I went to bed and while I couldn’t sleep, I just stared at the ceiling. The next thing I know, I already had tears streaming down my eyes. I didn’t know why but I couldn’t stop crying. It took me a while to get myself together so I can write on the notes app of my phone. This is, after all, my way of analyzing and processing my thoughts — I either write them down or record myself through a voice note.
At that point, I was so mad at myself for letting this happen. I didn’t want to be a slave to my work and even my business. That just wasn’t something I will ever tolerate in my life. One of my personal values in life is to never do something that will compromise my health even if that meant I’ll earn more money. But, there I was — exhausted, having a breakdown, feeling like I was chained both to my job and my business.
I asked God for help and guidance as I always do, whether it be on good or bad times. I know I can always count on Him. And as always, He never fails. He always does lead me to decisions I can’t come up with on my own. And He gives me the courage to push through them, even if those decisions are hard to face.
At that moment, I realized two things:
- I was holding onto my full-time job only because of the financial stability that I get to feel from the regular paychecks.
- I wasn’t running my business the way I want it to be. I knew that I was still consumed by my limiting belief that I can only succeed IF I work hard and keep on struggling (a belief I learned from my family as I saw both my Mom and Dad struggling from their jobs as government employees and my younger self has somehow come up with a conclusion that led to this limiting belief).
When I woke up the day after, I decided to do two things. One is to let go of my job even if it scared the heck out of me and two, I started setting boundaries for my clients and my business. The former was a quick, short-term decision but the latter is an ongoing process of unlearning my limiting belief.
I’m not perfect and I never will be so with this story as the starting point of my new blog post series, Building My Empire Diaries, I intend to share with you the REALITY, the BEHIND-THE-SCENES of being an entrepreneur who’s going through her journey in creating the business and life of her dreams.
I am starting this series because, during my breakdown, I kind of wished I had someone to tell me that it’s all going to be okay, that it’s okay to not be happy and positive all the time, that it’s okay to not be the role model everyone thinks I should be. It’s okay to be an entrepreneur with an online presence and influence and still be real. You don’t have to be anyone else just to prove your worth. In my lowest points, this is what I learned.
And I’m imparting it all to you through this open-ended series. I know for a fact that life is always working FOR us and not against us. So there must be a reason why we fall so hard and get back up. That reason for me is this — these are all going to be a part of our stories that we can share to enlighten and inspire the people who are experiencing or are about to experience what we overcame.
We conquer these challenges to teach others how to conquer the world.
Love and light,
P.S. Are you planning to launch an online course so you can make passive income and have freedom and ease in your business? Sign up in my FREE training here all about the 3-step process to building a successful and profitable course.
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